- Admitting I’m a recovering perfectionist and my ability to work on this daily.
- My heart issues that started last fall, stopping me from burning the candles at both ends and from being a workaholic while allowing me the ability to become deeply in-tune to what my mind/body/spirit needs. That my body healed itself when I listened to it.
- Sale of our rental property. My level of perfection makes it hard to be a landlord. I prayed it would sell in 18 days. The 18th day, we signed the offer.
- A husband who is my opposite and grounds me in life, especially when I tend to be wound tight.
- God calling me to a place I didn’t want to be so I had the opportunity to rely on him for the miracles. He showed up daily through the challenge. It was a very humbling experience to obey while in a place I did not want to be.
- For the weight I gained during my heart issue because it has taught me to love myself unconditionally. Although I don’t plan on keeping it long term, the experience of having it has taught me that my self worth is not based upon a number on the scale.
- The letter that Joseph wrote me from his Language Arts class choosing me as the person who has made a profound impact on his life. That I inspire him through difficult times and motivate him to strive for success. That he appreciates all I have done for him. I will never forget the emotions I felt opening up that letter in the mail.
- For wrestling with my dad and brother growing up. It has helped me fulfill one of Joseph’s love languages.
- Reading the book Boundaries and the positive impact that it has made in me saying “yes” to the things I really want, “no” to the things that don’t serve my purpose, and “I can’t” to honor my limitations. It has allowed me to become much more intentional.
- Our dog Stone and the unconditional love he shows us and the humor his personality brings to our lives.
- All the time I took away from Facebook this year to just self-reflect and work on personal development. I needed a quiet space to be away from the temptation to compare.
- My love for amateur photography to capture shots of my kids being in their element during sports. They cherish the yearly sports albums I make them.
- My degree in Conflict Resolution that has helped me live my best life having conversations of truth, effectively communicating difficult conversations and handling unhealthy people with dignity and respect. It has given me the gift of helping others understand a different perspective.
- My desire to never stop growing and learning.
- The ability to surrender to God. I like to do life my way. He has put me in circumstances that have forced me to put Him in the driver seat and walk this life hand in hand. Its so much more inspiring and fulfilling allowing Him to do more than I could do alone.
- For family and the support they bring.
- For our church family and the strength, prayer and weekly Biblical “grounding” they provide.
- For Sunday morning coffee with my great friend Val. We laugh, we cry, we listen, we celebrate and we challenge each other. Then we put the icing on the cake and go to church!
- Reading Judgement Detox and working through the exercises in the book to process periods in my life I was still emotionally holding on to.
- A marriage we never gave up on. Being opposites provides steep challenges when life alone can provide its course of hurdles, hardships and valleys. We never walked away. We have learned to point the finger inward instead of outward. We choose love when the feeling isn’t there. We honor and respect instead of coming from a place of who’s right vs who’s wrong. I am forever grateful for the difficult path we’ve been on because it has made us two much better people. I love how we honor and respect our differences now.
- Jonathan. He’s an empath like his mom. His love is fierce. I am in awe at his young age his ability and desire to honor his boundaries. I love his passion for music and how it fills his soul like it fills mine. We share the love for art and he still wants me to snuggle with him. He is pure sweet spunk.
- Joseph. He keeps me on my toes with his wit. He is charming and keeps me skilled in negotiation. He is spontaneous and courageous like I strive to be. I love being his mentor when he can be impulsive or emotional.
- Learning how valuable taking fifteen minutes to just sit next them at bedtime is before they are too old. That’s when they open their hearts to me. It’s the time where Joseph shares the depths of this day, both his dreams and struggles, and when I have the opportunity to mentor him the most. Jonathan chooses to pull me in close, wrap my arm around his chest and puts my hand in his. He doesn’t need to talk. He yearns for the security of love while drifting off to sleep. I used to struggle to live in the moment. I used to rush the bedtime routine to accomplish those last minute items on my to-do list before bed. No more. I now embrace this time.
- A clean bill of health after my mammogram in June. I was a nervous wreck and ball of anxiety. Health is wealth.
- For the small group of friends I have. I appreciate each of them and our walks or ladies nights at our house. The conversations and community of like minded women is always therapeutic.
- For working on not taking my life too seriously. Damn it’s hard for me.
- For creating a home that practices forgiveness, unconditional love, joy, laughter, grace, growth mindset, grit, playing board games and desiring more experiences than material things to fulfill our lives.
- The community that we live in.
- The desire for adventure and to try new things. The ability to adapt to change. To embrace flexibility vs being so planned and rigid as I was before.
- To consistently speak inner peace and love and no longer trying to be something more or different than who I truly am. I am enough. I am perfectly imperfect. I am a child of God, saved by Grace, not how perfect I can make my life. The understanding that if I do it all my way, I will completely miss my calling and why I’m here.
What’s your Perspective?
Proud of this kid.
This is Joseph two weeks ago at the end of the Saints vs. Rams game. As you can see by his jersey, Joseph is a Saints fan. He loves that team and Drew Brees.
There was so much energy and excitement going into this game for Joseph, and there were only tears and anguish at the end for him. While the Rams celebrated, Joseph said through emotion, “I don’t care. The Saints are still my favorite team.” But he now hated the Rams and had no interest in eating dinner.
I gently swooped in and had our mindset talk. One that has been a part of our weekly, almost daily life for the last year. I didn’t judge and I didn’t tell him how he should feel. However, I acknowledged his feelings without mine attached (validation that goes far for a child emotionally) and we spoke about positive perspectives, the joy in winning and with that also comes the grit in losing. Then I gave him some space.
About an hour later, Joseph came walking up to me, arms stretched out to me for a hug and with tears in his eyes said, “Mom, thanks for always helping me stay positive.”
He went from the head space of hating the Rams to now being ready to cheer for them today in the Super Bowl. All due to a chosen mindset and perspective.
What’s your mindset when you lose or face adversity or hardship? Do you allow your self-talk to build you up or tear you down? Do you push it to motivate you or do you allow it to discourage you? Do you shift to empowerment or succumb to shame, guilt or anger?
You have the reins to choose your thinking; to determine your mindset. It’s whether you chose to grab those reins or not. So I encourage you to take control of that inner voice and speak to yourself with a voice of grace, of love and acceptance, of forgiveness, willpower and perseverance. Often you can’t change the circumstance, but you can change your mindset. The saying goes, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% on how you react to it.
Don’t fall victim to your mindset. Take the reins and lead it.
Proud of Joseph for taking the reins. We worked hard to get to this place. It doesn’t matter if you are a child or an adult, through consistent practice, you can lead your mindset to taking you in positive directions. It’s all in your perspective and what you do with it. Make it full of hope and encouragement.